This piece evokes smells and flavors that bathing 1+ times a day never lets happen. Everything shaved and everything spotless is such a denial of our animal selves. As long as we respect the limitations of our immune systems by keeping shit strictly in its place, our filth can enrich us.
Porn’s laissez faire attitude towards A2V and A2OGM, etc., is probably responsible for countless yeast infections and worse among the amateur and unprepped.
See, I had another anecdote in here originally about that animal self… We can’t deny ourselves that! It’s some of the best of life. I’m not surprised you know that too 😘
And lol to Degas - yes it cracked me up too. I’d like to take a note from his book.
I’ve always had a higher tolerance for disorder and filth than our society sanctions, for sure. It is reflected in the clutter of our home, and the two-three days of dishes on the counter. My partner and i are too well matched in this regard as well. I, too, and finding that my tolerance for it, especially the clutter, is diminishing. Hopefully that will spur me to the kind of action that will erase. That is yet to be seen.
Increasing standards with age must surely be a good thing! We know we can hope for more 🙃 Thanks for, once again, connecting with me through these little life experiences ❤️
I enjoy and appreciate that you include real art by real humans in your columns. And the use of only works of Degas here was a nice touch! (He did seem to have a thing for bathing women, I see…)
Before sex, I always used to run to the bathroom to do a quick rinse , even if I had had a shower an hour ago. My boyfriend when I was 19 didn't see a single hair on my body. I was so conscious about smelling and tasting clean, that even my sex dreams never flourish because by the time I run to the imaginary bathroom, the dream has changed.
It's year 4 with my husband, and only now I'm beginning to let that 2-3 day stumble show. This morning he went down on me before I had a chance to freshen up. No complaints from him either way, but I do know he loves fresh bits , just as I do. I admit,I do fantasize about getting ravished with sweaty bits, there's something feral and hot about being eaten out after a workout or a house move ...
You and Joe found a perfect match in each other :)
I think that is the sign of maturity. Sometimes, there is 'less fresh' flavors, but I would rather suffer those occasionally and enjoy the spontaneity and passion of morning sex. Of course, full bladders can be uncomfortable.
I really enjoyed this. Beneath all the humour and sharp observations, it feels like an essay about embodiment, intimacy, and the stories we tell ourselves about purity.
What I loved most is that it never settles into a simple argument. It starts as a celebration of filth, then gradually becomes a reflection on care, vulnerability, health, partnership, and getting older. The voice is witty, self-aware, and wonderfully candid throughout.
The ending especially lands. After all the talk of dirt and desire, it circles back to something deeply tender: wanting to grow old with someone, filth and all. That final line made me smile.
You had me at footnotes. I too am what society would call, an infrequent bather. I enjoy a hot shower sometimes. Occasionally it just refreshes like a cup of tea cannot. But humanity has survived thousands of years without the modern obsession with purity.
Article really resonated with me and I think that society will always point to the 'sin' for blame, when misfortune arrives. I have had bugs and know people with stomach bugs, most of them in highly sterile homes.
I also feel that the medical system isn't setup to address how, so much as 'fix' the issue. You go in with something and they can often give you the treatment, but they list off a dozen things that 'might' have caused the condition.
Fun, honest, cool, and interesting essay. Did you know (as my almost 19 years old loves saying,) that it is the action of soap foaming with water which is what kills harmful bacteria? It actually explodes their little exteriors, rendering them harmless! When hand washing sing happy birthday twice, and that is just the right amount of time. We use all natural soaps too! 😊🐣Also, look up this very cool thing called “elimination communication”. We used this with our youngest and 2 of our grandkids. A lovely bath/shower for both my husband and I, and clean cool sheets, is the ticket for me, in the land of erotica. Change it, don’t change it, you are lovely Abby! Thanks as always for the writing!
Honestly.. is, in itself, quite cleansing! I love your honesty here... thank you. At the same time...I would love to be your dirty little secret somehow... but I also love the love you have for your partner...I would never want to get between that... keep writing please
I find this essay comforting, as someone incapable of freaking out about germs, as someone who has been told both that they are gross and, um, anal about their housekeeping. The huge variation in standards of cleanliness in humans is fascinating to me (I, for example, am much more disgusted by cleaning chemicals than by literal dirt), but I agree with you that an obsession with cleanliness is paradoxically perverse. I wrote a story about all this a few years ago; I think you'd enjoy it. (Caveat: I, unlike my protagonist, have never deliberately pissed the bed.)
Boy had a boner for bathers alright.
This piece evokes smells and flavors that bathing 1+ times a day never lets happen. Everything shaved and everything spotless is such a denial of our animal selves. As long as we respect the limitations of our immune systems by keeping shit strictly in its place, our filth can enrich us.
Porn’s laissez faire attitude towards A2V and A2OGM, etc., is probably responsible for countless yeast infections and worse among the amateur and unprepped.
See, I had another anecdote in here originally about that animal self… We can’t deny ourselves that! It’s some of the best of life. I’m not surprised you know that too 😘
And lol to Degas - yes it cracked me up too. I’d like to take a note from his book.
Thanks for commenting, Tom ❤️❤️❤️
I’ve always had a higher tolerance for disorder and filth than our society sanctions, for sure. It is reflected in the clutter of our home, and the two-three days of dishes on the counter. My partner and i are too well matched in this regard as well. I, too, and finding that my tolerance for it, especially the clutter, is diminishing. Hopefully that will spur me to the kind of action that will erase. That is yet to be seen.
Increasing standards with age must surely be a good thing! We know we can hope for more 🙃 Thanks for, once again, connecting with me through these little life experiences ❤️
I enjoy and appreciate that you include real art by real humans in your columns. And the use of only works of Degas here was a nice touch! (He did seem to have a thing for bathing women, I see…)
I’m glad you appreciated that ❤️ and this was only a surface scratch of Degas bathing collection.. he sure had a fixation 😘🙃
Before sex, I always used to run to the bathroom to do a quick rinse , even if I had had a shower an hour ago. My boyfriend when I was 19 didn't see a single hair on my body. I was so conscious about smelling and tasting clean, that even my sex dreams never flourish because by the time I run to the imaginary bathroom, the dream has changed.
It's year 4 with my husband, and only now I'm beginning to let that 2-3 day stumble show. This morning he went down on me before I had a chance to freshen up. No complaints from him either way, but I do know he loves fresh bits , just as I do. I admit,I do fantasize about getting ravished with sweaty bits, there's something feral and hot about being eaten out after a workout or a house move ...
You and Joe found a perfect match in each other :)
I think that is the sign of maturity. Sometimes, there is 'less fresh' flavors, but I would rather suffer those occasionally and enjoy the spontaneity and passion of morning sex. Of course, full bladders can be uncomfortable.
I really enjoyed this. Beneath all the humour and sharp observations, it feels like an essay about embodiment, intimacy, and the stories we tell ourselves about purity.
What I loved most is that it never settles into a simple argument. It starts as a celebration of filth, then gradually becomes a reflection on care, vulnerability, health, partnership, and getting older. The voice is witty, self-aware, and wonderfully candid throughout.
The ending especially lands. After all the talk of dirt and desire, it circles back to something deeply tender: wanting to grow old with someone, filth and all. That final line made me smile.
Funny, thoughtful, and surprisingly moving. ♥️♥️
You had me at footnotes. I too am what society would call, an infrequent bather. I enjoy a hot shower sometimes. Occasionally it just refreshes like a cup of tea cannot. But humanity has survived thousands of years without the modern obsession with purity.
Article really resonated with me and I think that society will always point to the 'sin' for blame, when misfortune arrives. I have had bugs and know people with stomach bugs, most of them in highly sterile homes.
I also feel that the medical system isn't setup to address how, so much as 'fix' the issue. You go in with something and they can often give you the treatment, but they list off a dozen things that 'might' have caused the condition.
Fun, honest, cool, and interesting essay. Did you know (as my almost 19 years old loves saying,) that it is the action of soap foaming with water which is what kills harmful bacteria? It actually explodes their little exteriors, rendering them harmless! When hand washing sing happy birthday twice, and that is just the right amount of time. We use all natural soaps too! 😊🐣Also, look up this very cool thing called “elimination communication”. We used this with our youngest and 2 of our grandkids. A lovely bath/shower for both my husband and I, and clean cool sheets, is the ticket for me, in the land of erotica. Change it, don’t change it, you are lovely Abby! Thanks as always for the writing!
Honestly.. is, in itself, quite cleansing! I love your honesty here... thank you. At the same time...I would love to be your dirty little secret somehow... but I also love the love you have for your partner...I would never want to get between that... keep writing please
You’re an amazing writer!!! I love reading your posts ❤️
I find this essay comforting, as someone incapable of freaking out about germs, as someone who has been told both that they are gross and, um, anal about their housekeeping. The huge variation in standards of cleanliness in humans is fascinating to me (I, for example, am much more disgusted by cleaning chemicals than by literal dirt), but I agree with you that an obsession with cleanliness is paradoxically perverse. I wrote a story about all this a few years ago; I think you'd enjoy it. (Caveat: I, unlike my protagonist, have never deliberately pissed the bed.)
https://www.lizziederksen.com/somethingnew