14 Comments
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Human Anyway's avatar

This is great. Had me hooked the whole time.

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

This made me smile. Thank you!! I’m really glad it hit you. ❤️❤️❤️

Mehta Mayah's avatar

Love this! I can relate. Sometimes, absolutely I'm down for a deeply intimate four hour long kink session. But I'm also quite active in many domains and I tend to approach sex more organically and pragmatically than my partner. I'm down for a quickie bent over the kitchen counter before we head out to a thing, or a midday romp in between emails and meetings. He prefers to take his time, building things up slowly for maximum connection. For me, connection happens energetically in an instant — or not— and I can feel unmet if things are moving too slowly. It sometimes seems like I inhabit more of the masculine polarity and he the feminine. Maybe that's a stereotype crumbling with the rest of western civilization, I'm not sure. Anyway we are still working the kinks out and this is helpful! ♥️ Oh yeah, and he's German and I'm Canadian, so defo a vibe difference there.

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Ahhhh Mehta, reading this was affirming. I feel very similarly to how you describe yourself. And I love how our cross-cultural relationships both have those inverse gender expectations. I’m glad you enjoyed our convo, and I certainly enjoyed your reflections. Sending my love!

Cailey Rizzo's avatar

gah thank you so much for this!! so much is resonating and giving me new language/frameworks to articulate my own ~ish~ <3333

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

❤️❤️❤️❤️ that’s the coolest thing to hear! ❤️❤️❤️

Harold Kazetsky's avatar

Thanks for sharing this. I haven't always felt particularly sexually compatible with my wife, but we have a fantastic and quite intimate relationship. Just not very sexual. Fortunately we've been good at allow each other to explore outside the marriage. My take home is that marriage is an extremely complex institution that is supposed to do lots of things - raise kids, make money, provie companionship, run a house -- and sex isn't always the thing it's set up to do well.

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

I'm glad that's your takeaway! Sex working out well is certainly not a given in relationship. I love that you two have found your unique way to be fulfilled in your marriage, like us. Thanks for reading and telling me about your love :)

Douglas S. Pierce's avatar

That was a neat discussion and a great article!

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Thanks, Douglas!! I, as always, am so appreciative of your attention :)

Francesca's avatar

I think these distinctions - whatever / wherever / whenever - are really useful ways to think about our own preferences! They seem so generic, but really they're not - they're really saying a lot about how we want (and what we want, and where we want) to experience intimacy. Thank you for sharing!

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Yay I'm really happy that you get it and see the value. It's our pleasure to share!! xox!

Steve Holliday's avatar

Man she's got a large pair of breasts

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Or is it the shadow?