Your Sexual Entertainment Director
Fucking for fun’s sake
When I was a preteen, I felt a connection with a resort’s entertainment director. It felt like Dirty Dancing. Except in my mind. And, as a consequence, pure fantasy sans cultural realism.
He led water aerobics, and he was my first... karaoke pusher.
As I cried on the airplane home, my stepmom said she could see me in that role. Maybe on a cruise, she said. It was meant as a compliment. I embody an unironically enthusiastic microphone voice saying, Alright, everyone, it’s time to [insert fun activity], set to the opening of “Simply Irresistible.” So, in a lanky Spanish man with a hoop naval piercing, I saw my future – a life with intentional fun.
I never became an entertainment director. Professionally. But it is a role I uphold in life. I seek out the fun I want to have. And recently, I realized my husband, Joe, is an entertainment director, too.
He planned most of our first dates. A pub crawl. A concert. A pub crawl on bikes. He’s good at taking the lead. But it took him a while to become who he is now – our sexual entertainment director.
A box will arrive with papier-mâché masks from the outfitters of Eyes Wide Shut, and we’ll belly laugh as I wear an impractical and semi-spooky Harlequin disguise. He’ll ask if I have a gap in my work calendar, the open-mindedness for a bit of improv, and any white powder makeup for a Tea Party scene he’s dreamt up. Then he’ll say Really go over the top, and I’ll say, Like bring my tongue over the top of your penis, or metaphorically? Then we laugh again.
It’s fucking for fun’s sake. Dress-up. Comedy. Adult play.
Joe directs the entertainment, and we both have fun. This last week, he took the direction to another level. We’ve been filming ourselves.
Joe picks our location. He sets up a camera. Sometimes he holds it himself. I can feel his excitement behind the lens.
Joe pitched the idea to me as I sat at my desk. He told me he had been thinking of something and wondered if I had a minute. The timidity and passion he has when he unveils his dreams are almost as heartwarming as when we fulfill them. I love discovering where his mind goes, pulled not by duty, but interest, and, well, fun.
When he told me he wanted to film us, I wasn’t surprised. He’d collected our sex clips for over a year. There is a folder in his phone. He has his favorites.1
When he said, So what do you say? I could hear “Simply Irresistible.” It was time to get up and do something just for fun. Then, five blue jays arrived on the pine tree just outside my desk window. I laughed. We had an audience.
We started that day. We enjoy the sex we have, and then again, when Joe edits it into something to watch back. His face is gleeful when he presents his masterpieces to me — my face on his display.
Filming our sex is fun that begets fun. Horniess inspiring horniness. That’s what an entertainment director does. They take you out of your chair – sun lounger, or desk – and remind you why we’re living. To move. To laugh. To dance, together.
It took Joe a while to come to this role, as it can for anyone. Life can make us flat and tired. Revealing our fantasies and dreams is not for the flat or the tired. As an empty dance floor can intimidate those who aren’t practicing, those initiating conversations can feel vulnerable, too. It took time to (inter)personally ready his It’s time for [insert sexy surprise] energy. But once one remembers to prioritize active entertainment and explore their dreams again, the fun begins.
The world and our obligations give us enough realism. Fantasies require intention. Promote yourself to entertainment director. It’ll bring out your joie de vivre, élan, your preteen whimsy, and life will become irresistible.
(duh!)
When he talks about them, it’s as if he’s recalling precious memories that aren’t just hazy in his mind but real and in his hands. Because they are. He tells me they’ve made him eroticize my face. Just looking at my eyes makes him horny. What’s not to love?
My husband and I also take turns as sexual entertainment directors, although we called it experience connoisseurs. We indulge in fantasy hikes and delicious treats while describing our fantasies to each other, and sometimes we recreate them in video. It's super hot. He will love this post
I love it! Thanks for the lovely writing Abby, for sharing your most intimate experiences, and for inhabiting fully, what it means to be an absolute whole woman.