I love this article! I'm German, moved to the USA in 2013, at age 52. California because dear friends live here. But the first reason to move so far was my son, then 30 and the future grandchildren I didn't want to be so far away from.
They came soon, we all lived in Oregon for a few years but they moved to Florida again, and I'm back in California.
Before I moved to the States I had said I wanted to be at least on the same continent with him and the future grandkids, and that's exactly what I got. I love where I live and I visit with them twice a year. But I miss them a lot...
I’ve been thinking of this so so so much lately, Debo! The distance from family when living in your chosen place. I often feel a longing to be near my family in Minnesota. We go maybe an accumulated 3 to 4 weeks per year… but sometimes that doesn’t feel enough. Yet, when I deeply think about it, I don’t think that’s my place - at least right now - and that’s ok! And it might change later! I’m so curious where my kids will want to be/live. I plan (which I know is so long away, so who knows what will happen) to follow them, if I can. But maybe that won’t be the right move for any of us… I suppose the moral, to me right now, is I love to give my love to those I love, and missing those opportunities to do so hurts me, but I also have to tune in to the places that are right for myself.
Sorry to ramble so long about this! I’m really glad you enjoyed this piece, and I so appreciated having this comment chat with you :) Hugs!
We were both on a dating site that no longer exist. There was a thread she started about baked beans. So I sent her a message and we started chatting.
That led to emailing each other for a while since she lived in NJ at that time. She got transferred to Arkansas. Since she moved closer to me that led to phone calls.
I suggested we meet in person. I would drive over since it was only a 5.5 hour drive. She was hesitant because the weekend I suggested was just a few days before she was flying to Prague for a 2 week vacation with her friend Jana.
She finally gave in to meeting me. I couldn't leave until I got off work so it was 10:30 or 11 that night when I got there. She showed me where to put my small suitcase of clothes. I was going to stay from Friday night until Sunday morning when I had to leave because she was going into work to get the project she was working on down.
She had food, snacks and beer all setup for us. We sat up talking until 2 or 3 in the morning. That is when she leaned over to kiss me but she belched right in my face. She was so embarrassed as to what she had done. Well I had to burst out laughing at her. I leaned over and kissed her. Needless to say I never stayed in the spare bedroom that weekend.
That was the start of our relationship. We chatted while she was in Prague and Paris. Her friend Jana and her mother surprised her with a birthday trip to Paris.
Once she got back to the US we saw each other every weekend for 9 and a half months. All of a sudden she was getting ready to be transferred back to NJ. We both knew if she moved back there our relationship would really suffer.
So I asked her to move in with me in Tennessee. She thought about and said yes she would move in with me. We were together for the next 16 yrs until she passed away in Oct 2025.
I was talking to Jana last night about the day Susie passed and what all I went thru that day. I was a total wreck reliving that with her. Now I am a total wreck talking about how we met.
My life is so hard to go on without her being with me. I think you only find true love once in your life. My true love happened when I was 58 almost 59 and she was 60.
Thank you Abi. I am a mess right now but I can't help it. Susie meant the world to me.
Even though Susie was in pain she was more worried about my well being taking care of her. She told Jana that she knew it was wearing me down. I didn't let it bother me as my job was to take care of her the best I could.
I cannot imagine the pain - those caretaking times, while also needing caretaking yourself. I try to imagine how that would’ve been for my dad when my moms health was fading. It’s an impossible thing to empathize for me. I really feel for you. Sending so much love
Loved this! Serendipity and synchronicity have each played incredible roles in my life and how my wife and i came together as well. The first time my wife ever noticed me was when I was on the front page of a student newspaper that was plastered on the window of the cafeteria I had worked at before being deployed to the Gulf War (and returned to after the war) where she worked during the year I was gone. She had returned to get an additional degree after already graduating. She was the one to ask me out, on Valentine’s Day, with a poem in my mailbox that asked for me to reply with the color of the rose that expressed my level of interest. (I replied with red, of course.) So many moments leading up to that, and going beyond as well.
Oh my Douglas, I loooove this. A soul level connection. I know exactly what you mean - so many little unexplainable things in our love. To the point it couldn’t be argued with. It was just meant to be. And it makes me feel grateful every day because these things really can’t be planned for can they? We are lucky!
Indeed we are! This Valentine’s Day, we celebrated 34 loooonnnnnggggg haaaarrrrrdd years (Inside joke — the long and hard get more drawn out with each year, and we love it!) of dating. We married the following September — when I got a job offer for the federal government and we moved to Miami together from Michigan. Spoiler alert, we didn’t like Miami and returned to Michigan shortly after our daughter was born! And yeah, we got married 7 months after we started dating — and I had never even had a girlfriend or been on a ‘real’ date before dating her! She had a bit more experience — luckily for me!
I hope the red roses have continued as a tradition from that first Valentine's Day! 🥹🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️ Happy 34 years of love!! BTW, I really love Michigan (far more than Miami) too. Pictured Rocks Park is one of my favorite places on Earth.
I love this article! I'm German, moved to the USA in 2013, at age 52. California because dear friends live here. But the first reason to move so far was my son, then 30 and the future grandchildren I didn't want to be so far away from.
They came soon, we all lived in Oregon for a few years but they moved to Florida again, and I'm back in California.
Before I moved to the States I had said I wanted to be at least on the same continent with him and the future grandkids, and that's exactly what I got. I love where I live and I visit with them twice a year. But I miss them a lot...
I’ve been thinking of this so so so much lately, Debo! The distance from family when living in your chosen place. I often feel a longing to be near my family in Minnesota. We go maybe an accumulated 3 to 4 weeks per year… but sometimes that doesn’t feel enough. Yet, when I deeply think about it, I don’t think that’s my place - at least right now - and that’s ok! And it might change later! I’m so curious where my kids will want to be/live. I plan (which I know is so long away, so who knows what will happen) to follow them, if I can. But maybe that won’t be the right move for any of us… I suppose the moral, to me right now, is I love to give my love to those I love, and missing those opportunities to do so hurts me, but I also have to tune in to the places that are right for myself.
Sorry to ramble so long about this! I’m really glad you enjoyed this piece, and I so appreciated having this comment chat with you :) Hugs!
Not to worry, no rambling detected, I understand your musings well. Hugs back
❤️❤️❤️❤️
We were both on a dating site that no longer exist. There was a thread she started about baked beans. So I sent her a message and we started chatting.
That led to emailing each other for a while since she lived in NJ at that time. She got transferred to Arkansas. Since she moved closer to me that led to phone calls.
I suggested we meet in person. I would drive over since it was only a 5.5 hour drive. She was hesitant because the weekend I suggested was just a few days before she was flying to Prague for a 2 week vacation with her friend Jana.
She finally gave in to meeting me. I couldn't leave until I got off work so it was 10:30 or 11 that night when I got there. She showed me where to put my small suitcase of clothes. I was going to stay from Friday night until Sunday morning when I had to leave because she was going into work to get the project she was working on down.
She had food, snacks and beer all setup for us. We sat up talking until 2 or 3 in the morning. That is when she leaned over to kiss me but she belched right in my face. She was so embarrassed as to what she had done. Well I had to burst out laughing at her. I leaned over and kissed her. Needless to say I never stayed in the spare bedroom that weekend.
That was the start of our relationship. We chatted while she was in Prague and Paris. Her friend Jana and her mother surprised her with a birthday trip to Paris.
Once she got back to the US we saw each other every weekend for 9 and a half months. All of a sudden she was getting ready to be transferred back to NJ. We both knew if she moved back there our relationship would really suffer.
So I asked her to move in with me in Tennessee. She thought about and said yes she would move in with me. We were together for the next 16 yrs until she passed away in Oct 2025.
I was talking to Jana last night about the day Susie passed and what all I went thru that day. I was a total wreck reliving that with her. Now I am a total wreck talking about how we met.
My life is so hard to go on without her being with me. I think you only find true love once in your life. My true love happened when I was 58 almost 59 and she was 60.
Damn I loved that woman and still do today.
Ug 💔 Your love wasn’t stopped by distance when she was on Earth, and it hasn’t now she’s gone. True soul mates ❤️ Sending you love every day, Eddy.
Thank you Abi. I am a mess right now but I can't help it. Susie meant the world to me.
Even though Susie was in pain she was more worried about my well being taking care of her. She told Jana that she knew it was wearing me down. I didn't let it bother me as my job was to take care of her the best I could.
I cannot imagine the pain - those caretaking times, while also needing caretaking yourself. I try to imagine how that would’ve been for my dad when my moms health was fading. It’s an impossible thing to empathize for me. I really feel for you. Sending so much love
Loved this! Serendipity and synchronicity have each played incredible roles in my life and how my wife and i came together as well. The first time my wife ever noticed me was when I was on the front page of a student newspaper that was plastered on the window of the cafeteria I had worked at before being deployed to the Gulf War (and returned to after the war) where she worked during the year I was gone. She had returned to get an additional degree after already graduating. She was the one to ask me out, on Valentine’s Day, with a poem in my mailbox that asked for me to reply with the color of the rose that expressed my level of interest. (I replied with red, of course.) So many moments leading up to that, and going beyond as well.
Oh my Douglas, I loooove this. A soul level connection. I know exactly what you mean - so many little unexplainable things in our love. To the point it couldn’t be argued with. It was just meant to be. And it makes me feel grateful every day because these things really can’t be planned for can they? We are lucky!
Indeed we are! This Valentine’s Day, we celebrated 34 loooonnnnnggggg haaaarrrrrdd years (Inside joke — the long and hard get more drawn out with each year, and we love it!) of dating. We married the following September — when I got a job offer for the federal government and we moved to Miami together from Michigan. Spoiler alert, we didn’t like Miami and returned to Michigan shortly after our daughter was born! And yeah, we got married 7 months after we started dating — and I had never even had a girlfriend or been on a ‘real’ date before dating her! She had a bit more experience — luckily for me!
I hope the red roses have continued as a tradition from that first Valentine's Day! 🥹🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️ Happy 34 years of love!! BTW, I really love Michigan (far more than Miami) too. Pictured Rocks Park is one of my favorite places on Earth.
Oh yes, they do continue!