18 Comments
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Sophy Drouin's avatar

Brilliant! I enjoyed this a lot, will not be analyzing.

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

😘😘😘😘😘 hahaha and I bet you'll be happier for it! Thanks, Soph πŸ₯°

ocdiva's avatar

such an interesting piece abigail! especially as an american living in london haha <3 i wrote about the album too but didn't have the insight u do, and i really appreciated reading this!

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Aww glad you liked it. I’ll have to check out yours!

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Aww glad you liked it. I’ll have to check out yours!

Katrina Donham's avatar

Really enjoyed this conversation, Abigail! I haven't listened to Lily's new album yet, but I'll be sure to tomorrow. The differences in cultures and gender roles is so fascinating to me! Lovely advice there at the end, too. ❀️

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Thanks, Katrina!! I'm glad you enjoyed it. You HAVE to do a full listen start to end. It's a performance!

Katrina Donham's avatar

Ah, my favorite way to listen to a new album!

EMMA GRADY's avatar

Honestly sometimes I forget my boyfriend is British, until we go to the UK and I am lost in the cultural nuances that I don't understand. What a great reminder!!

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Hahahah we’ve not been back in a couple years (his green card fears with the current administration) but plan to in February. I’m curious how lost in the sea of nuance I’ll get 🏊 It adds something though, doesn’t it?

EMMA GRADY's avatar

The Brits are very polite, which can come across as passive aggressive to me...like tell it to me straight, please. πŸ˜‚ It's so funny though, just takes a little navigating.

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Yeah, 100%. I sometimes overhear Joe’s work calls and text him, β€œThis is one of those situations where you have to say it painfully plainly, babe,” because I’ve heard him enough times say, β€œI warned them of this…” and I say, β€œDid you actually, or did you Britishly?”

EMMA GRADY's avatar

Did you Britishly?! LOL so funny. Sometimes I need a translator when we're speaking the same language. πŸ˜‚

Tom Van Valkenburgh's avatar

Married to a German woman and I’m originally from near Philadelphia. She’s a lot more direct than I. It’s always been a problem.

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

And you make it work despite! I love a direct lady 😘 and love to hear the Germans live up to the reputation.

Writer's Lab's avatar

Wowww!! Loved reading it!! Very Interesting

Anu | Happy Landings's avatar

This is so interesting! I totally get what Joe means about the subversiveness. I think British men feel less pressure to play gender straight, and can be subversive about that too. I’m thinking of Zendaya and Tom Holland and that Umbrella Lip Sync - I feel like American men would just never. And yet it’s incredibly sexy because he’s just so comfortable in his masculinity. There’s more of a tradition of straight men cross-dressing and just being more wink-wink about gender it seems.

I do think the American male characteristics are extremely regional. Like I can’t imagine anyone in the Northeast (Boston here) saying β€œHello friends” - would come off as incredibly cheesy. I had a Midwest work colleague who would begin one-on-ones by saying β€œHello friend!” and I’d have to remind myself that he’s not being sarcastic or insulting. Boston men love banter and consider insults a form of affection. They’re very direct though, which is a difference from British men, it seems.

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Nov 3
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Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Awwww we love you back. Thanks for 'seeing' us so well in this. I really love your analysis on the chat. You're totally right - while we're both rigid in our own ways, we've both always wanted to find our own way, and not model what we've always known. Our communication has always been fluid between us, but it's not always been THIS clear. We've worked our way to it πŸ₯° Trial and error and enjoying it all the while...

Thanks so much for reading with such presence and love, Markos!