Happy Endings

Happy Endings

How I touch myself, nonsexually, when I want to feel sexy

Six non-erogenous body parts and how to touch them (Praxxxis #8)

Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar
Abigail A Mlinar Burns
Apr 30, 2026
∙ Paid
My bi-monthly segment, Praxxxis, puts Happy Endings into practice

When I want to feel horny but don’t want to meditate on erotic thought-starters while listening to Divinyls and circling my hips like Patrick Swayze, I get non-sexually literal and touch myself.

A teacher at work

Not nipples or lips or pelvic creases. No treasure trails or ears or erogenous zones. No spanking or tickling or flogging me softly with his suede fringe.

This is my list of the sort of body parts, and how to touch them, that gets me straight where the hottest orgasms live — in my body. This is my go-to for when I’m craving arousal, but it’s evading me slightly. Try one or all six… I think you will enjoy them, too:

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