Okay so I loved this, thank you. Nearly didn’t open it and am so glad I did. I don’t meditate but I know I should try, for so many reasons. Someone kind of spoiled meditation for me many years ago, long story. Can you please think about writing another piece for luddites like me who have never properly meditated? Some people get all superior-in-themselves about it and it’s so off-putting for me. It needs to be something simple I suppose or people get discouraged. Anyway am going to try this today, just deep breaths. Need to start because really need some peace in my life around now. And who is going to say no to Symphony Sex? Not me sister. 🙏🏼
Nancy I’m SO glad this was useful for you. I’m sorry you had someone sully the idea of meditation for you! But I can’t say I’m surprised! When our times infamous cult leaders use a tool, it really gets muddied 🤪🙃 I think that’s even why I have an aversion to offering advice. Either giving advice implies a knowingness that contradicts my worldview, or, advice giving now implies a level of self interest (profit, status, cult leadership, etc etc) where ‘tips’ degraded from help to manipulation. But anyways, since you asked, I'll absolutely think on how I'd share a guide. I think it might even fit into The Erotic’s Way I'm working on and referenced here, if you're interested: https://contemporarylove.substack.com/p/the-problem-with-fluffers?r=1ebkz8
Oh thank you and that’s very kind of you. I totally get it. Yes the wellness industry has a lot to answer for. There’s a lot of smugness and one-upmanship and I just don’t have any time for it. But I will read that also with much interest and think on what you said. It’s not often you read something and it just smacks you between the eyeballs (and in the fanny haha) but this particular piece of yours really did. Thank you again.
One million percent yes!!!! And if I fall out of my meditation practice, I notice that eventually sex becomes less satisfying. When I start back up again, within a couple of days, we’re back in action. (Insert that old adage about the brain being the body’s largest sex organ…)
Yessss thank you 😭 it’s so real - old adage and physiologically real - but still I felt nervous to say it out loud like it wasn’t sexy or scientific enough? So THANKS again for reading and saying this 😘
Yes, absolutely!!! AND - I only realized that after years and years.
Short version of my experience: started having sex at 15 and my first orgasm ever was at age 30.
I always liked having sex but I wouldn't come (also not by myself) and thought and said I didn't need it. I had started meditation at age 21 and in hindsight I'm absolutely sure that this did it. I had learned to be in my body and stay focused.
I only recently found out that I have ADHD and that's another puzzle piece why it was so difficult to come. It just took too long and I got bored.😁
There's a longer version that I should write one day...
Yes 1000%!!! I can imagine how ADHD would add that extra hump to get over (pun lol). I am so glad you can relate. I also felt like it wasn’t worth the concentrated effort with partners before this was a skill I had practice with. Thanks so much for sharing your experience!!!
With conscious deliberation and dream state channeling of my lower chalkboards, I find that for me at least I sprout spontaneous tumescence. It’s possible that it’s only REM action, I suppose. If so I don’t want to know. Never try to explain away a successful placebo effect.
I love meditating! For me, sometimes I just focus on the repetition of one word in my brain, for instance Love, or wellness. It’s a really good way to switch off the brain when it wants to focus on something you would rather it didn’t. I love having a calm mind. And I love Joe’s use of symphony to describe you, any part of you! Such romance! Thanks Abby, as always, for writing and for posting! 🥳 Judi
I love this way of meditating! A thematic reset 😍 I’ll try this as I drift off tonight. And, as always, its my pleasure, and I thank *you* for reading and commenting 🥹
Okay so I loved this, thank you. Nearly didn’t open it and am so glad I did. I don’t meditate but I know I should try, for so many reasons. Someone kind of spoiled meditation for me many years ago, long story. Can you please think about writing another piece for luddites like me who have never properly meditated? Some people get all superior-in-themselves about it and it’s so off-putting for me. It needs to be something simple I suppose or people get discouraged. Anyway am going to try this today, just deep breaths. Need to start because really need some peace in my life around now. And who is going to say no to Symphony Sex? Not me sister. 🙏🏼
Nancy I’m SO glad this was useful for you. I’m sorry you had someone sully the idea of meditation for you! But I can’t say I’m surprised! When our times infamous cult leaders use a tool, it really gets muddied 🤪🙃 I think that’s even why I have an aversion to offering advice. Either giving advice implies a knowingness that contradicts my worldview, or, advice giving now implies a level of self interest (profit, status, cult leadership, etc etc) where ‘tips’ degraded from help to manipulation. But anyways, since you asked, I'll absolutely think on how I'd share a guide. I think it might even fit into The Erotic’s Way I'm working on and referenced here, if you're interested: https://contemporarylove.substack.com/p/the-problem-with-fluffers?r=1ebkz8
Oh thank you and that’s very kind of you. I totally get it. Yes the wellness industry has a lot to answer for. There’s a lot of smugness and one-upmanship and I just don’t have any time for it. But I will read that also with much interest and think on what you said. It’s not often you read something and it just smacks you between the eyeballs (and in the fanny haha) but this particular piece of yours really did. Thank you again.
One million percent yes!!!! And if I fall out of my meditation practice, I notice that eventually sex becomes less satisfying. When I start back up again, within a couple of days, we’re back in action. (Insert that old adage about the brain being the body’s largest sex organ…)
Yessss thank you 😭 it’s so real - old adage and physiologically real - but still I felt nervous to say it out loud like it wasn’t sexy or scientific enough? So THANKS again for reading and saying this 😘
Bravo!♥️
🥰 thank you for reading, Brad ❤️
Yes, absolutely!!! AND - I only realized that after years and years.
Short version of my experience: started having sex at 15 and my first orgasm ever was at age 30.
I always liked having sex but I wouldn't come (also not by myself) and thought and said I didn't need it. I had started meditation at age 21 and in hindsight I'm absolutely sure that this did it. I had learned to be in my body and stay focused.
I only recently found out that I have ADHD and that's another puzzle piece why it was so difficult to come. It just took too long and I got bored.😁
There's a longer version that I should write one day...
Yes 1000%!!! I can imagine how ADHD would add that extra hump to get over (pun lol). I am so glad you can relate. I also felt like it wasn’t worth the concentrated effort with partners before this was a skill I had practice with. Thanks so much for sharing your experience!!!
Exactly, sooo much work!!!
You do amazing work.
Aww, Mack, thank you 😘😘😘
I will reflect upon this.
Keep me posted
With conscious deliberation and dream state channeling of my lower chalkboards, I find that for me at least I sprout spontaneous tumescence. It’s possible that it’s only REM action, I suppose. If so I don’t want to know. Never try to explain away a successful placebo effect.
lol never!
Is there an app for this? 🤣😂
Great piece 👏🏽
Let's connect 😁
https://open.substack.com/pub/againstr/p/against-good-writing?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=vz0bh
Hahaha there certainly should be!
I love meditating! For me, sometimes I just focus on the repetition of one word in my brain, for instance Love, or wellness. It’s a really good way to switch off the brain when it wants to focus on something you would rather it didn’t. I love having a calm mind. And I love Joe’s use of symphony to describe you, any part of you! Such romance! Thanks Abby, as always, for writing and for posting! 🥳 Judi
🥰 Such romance indeed! I feel lucky.
I love this way of meditating! A thematic reset 😍 I’ll try this as I drift off tonight. And, as always, its my pleasure, and I thank *you* for reading and commenting 🥹
So Dear and so Sweet you are Abby! And yes, I’m glad you might give it a try, it’s been revolutionary for me! Judi
I fell asleep saying “health” to myself and woke up feeling significantly less sick! Xoxo
Yay! I’m so glad! Our brains have such plasticity to learn and grow and we truly do have such power over our wellbeing! 🥳
You are definitely not a tips person. A tip, shaft, balls and entire rest of the husband person, that you are.
Hahahaha I missed that pun potential but I’m glad you didn’t
Inside every male beats the heart of a 12 year old boy.
I just wrote a piece on how to have good sex and I think that we have some interesting overlap!
Oooh I’ll have to go check it out!!
As you should be! 👏