“If you’re burnt out, maybe it’s not because something’s broken in you. Maybe it’s because you’re living inside a broken idea of what a life should be.” ❤️
Very well written. I think that the stress experienced by new moms is nature's way of hyperfocusing her attention on the new, helpless baby in order to maximize its chances of survival, and inhibition of sexual desire is there to prevent mom from becoming pregnant again while she still has her hands full with a newborn; same reason the menstrual cycle stops during breast feeding. And I love the line about how Americans are taught that they can achieve their dreams if they just work hard enough. Reminds me of the last couple of sentences of the Great Gatsby.
Thank you, so so much 🥲❤️ And yes you’re so right... I’ve given up fighting my biology, but I guess I’ve just traded that for the fight against our countries programming 🙈 It feels more pleasurable, at least.
I love your writing, and baguettes! But seriously, stress is killing our sex drives. Have you read Come as You Are or Burnout by Emily Nagasi (sp?)? She writes about this topic beautifully! I highly recommend.
Thank you so so much!! Stress will be the end of all that’s good 😭 I really need to read these, thanks for the reminder! I’ve long followed Emily but haven’t dove fully in to her universe.
Beautiful (as always). Eighteen years ago, when I was in the early slog of being a new parent, I wish I had these words. I didn’t want to feel disconnected, a husk of myself, but I couldn’t figure out how to get back into my body. What was worse, no one wanted to talk about it. Or at least the people I was surrounding myself with didn’t want to talk about intimacy. So, thanks from a past version of me for putting these words out into the universe. It’s important.
Bravo Abigail!!! This is a very important piece of writing and I am so grateful to read it! I recently experienced just how much a disconnection in oneself, via not dealing with feelings of loss and grief, can contribute to loss of ability and desire in intimacy. The great news, is that in the slow down and reconnection with oneself, and a more feeling internal landscape, the brilliance of intimacy returns with a gusto! (Which when parenting brings its own challenges, but we persevere!)
So, again, bravo to you for nailing that one on the head! Your writing is both brilliant and an important contribution to the world of reading! 😉 Judi
I’m familiar with that returning with a gusto, too 🥹❤️ The rainbow after the storm! I’m glad you found your way there and it really is so affirming that you recognize this piece in your experience. Your sweet words are making my day ❤️🥹
"If you’re bunt out, maybe it’s not because something’s broken in you. Maybe it’s because you’re living inside a broken idea of what a life should be." ❤️❤️❤️
When I was 28 I had my second child. My children are nearly five years apart in age. I had no interest in having orgasms or P in V sex. I wanted to sleep. I did however really love my husband. I got really good at sucking his cock and hand jobs. In the year after our daughter was born we used eight condoms out of a box of twelve. When my daughter was a year old I had a tubal ligation. My desire for sex and orgasms came back. They were good times. I’m old now. 62. Still like sex quite a bit although my husband and I don’t have it as much as we used to, just once or twice a week. It’s fun. It keeps my vagina from atrophying. I don’t even need lube although a lot of women my age suffer from very dry vaginas. Mine is good. Sex is something that lubricates a relationship, it makes the times when you feel stabbie towards your partner better. Less stabbie shall we say. Sex can make you feel joy at times when there is precious little joy around us. It’s important.
I really really really really really love this comment. I totally feel this, though I’m only 33 and our boys are 4&2. There was a sense of longing for something I didn’t long for during those stressful early parenting times. I wanted that intimacy and wanted to give it to him too. So I did to a bit of my detriment. But we’re past that for some time now and have a great sex life, as I share 🤪❤️ Thanks so much for reading and sharing your experience!
So well written. I had a conversation with a friend today not about stress specifically but about the world being f**ked. We decided everyone could benefit from sex and hedonism in these trying times. Orgies for stress relief and world peace?!!
Hahaha it is so sad when the medicine to help is stunted by the problem we have 😭 Thanks so much for reading and this kind response. Your friend and you are def onto something 😘
Thanks. Recognition of the very common influences that bring down the natural urges for "physical workouts" is welcomed. I hadn't noticed the restriction having children plays but that's because I haven't had children. The best I can do is a lot of babysitting so the parents can have a comfy workout.
Hahah yes and that’s certainly of value!! I say after having a rare babysitter last night 🥹❤️ Thanks so much for reading and commenting - I appreciate you!
“If you’re burnt out, maybe it’s not because something’s broken in you. Maybe it’s because you’re living inside a broken idea of what a life should be.” ❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😘
Very well written. I think that the stress experienced by new moms is nature's way of hyperfocusing her attention on the new, helpless baby in order to maximize its chances of survival, and inhibition of sexual desire is there to prevent mom from becoming pregnant again while she still has her hands full with a newborn; same reason the menstrual cycle stops during breast feeding. And I love the line about how Americans are taught that they can achieve their dreams if they just work hard enough. Reminds me of the last couple of sentences of the Great Gatsby.
Thank you, so so much 🥲❤️ And yes you’re so right... I’ve given up fighting my biology, but I guess I’ve just traded that for the fight against our countries programming 🙈 It feels more pleasurable, at least.
I love your writing, and baguettes! But seriously, stress is killing our sex drives. Have you read Come as You Are or Burnout by Emily Nagasi (sp?)? She writes about this topic beautifully! I highly recommend.
Thank you so so much!! Stress will be the end of all that’s good 😭 I really need to read these, thanks for the reminder! I’ve long followed Emily but haven’t dove fully in to her universe.
Beautiful (as always). Eighteen years ago, when I was in the early slog of being a new parent, I wish I had these words. I didn’t want to feel disconnected, a husk of myself, but I couldn’t figure out how to get back into my body. What was worse, no one wanted to talk about it. Or at least the people I was surrounding myself with didn’t want to talk about intimacy. So, thanks from a past version of me for putting these words out into the universe. It’s important.
Rachel, thank you for saying this, it has me tearing up a little. I wish I could hug that you (and current you too) ❤️❤️❤️
Bravo Abigail!!! This is a very important piece of writing and I am so grateful to read it! I recently experienced just how much a disconnection in oneself, via not dealing with feelings of loss and grief, can contribute to loss of ability and desire in intimacy. The great news, is that in the slow down and reconnection with oneself, and a more feeling internal landscape, the brilliance of intimacy returns with a gusto! (Which when parenting brings its own challenges, but we persevere!)
So, again, bravo to you for nailing that one on the head! Your writing is both brilliant and an important contribution to the world of reading! 😉 Judi
I’m familiar with that returning with a gusto, too 🥹❤️ The rainbow after the storm! I’m glad you found your way there and it really is so affirming that you recognize this piece in your experience. Your sweet words are making my day ❤️🥹
I am glad Abby! It is a village, even if from across great distances….
Thank you for sharing
Thank you for reading! And for supporting my little publication ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
"If you’re bunt out, maybe it’s not because something’s broken in you. Maybe it’s because you’re living inside a broken idea of what a life should be." ❤️❤️❤️
🥹 I’m glad that hit. Thank you for reading ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
When I was 28 I had my second child. My children are nearly five years apart in age. I had no interest in having orgasms or P in V sex. I wanted to sleep. I did however really love my husband. I got really good at sucking his cock and hand jobs. In the year after our daughter was born we used eight condoms out of a box of twelve. When my daughter was a year old I had a tubal ligation. My desire for sex and orgasms came back. They were good times. I’m old now. 62. Still like sex quite a bit although my husband and I don’t have it as much as we used to, just once or twice a week. It’s fun. It keeps my vagina from atrophying. I don’t even need lube although a lot of women my age suffer from very dry vaginas. Mine is good. Sex is something that lubricates a relationship, it makes the times when you feel stabbie towards your partner better. Less stabbie shall we say. Sex can make you feel joy at times when there is precious little joy around us. It’s important.
I really really really really really love this comment. I totally feel this, though I’m only 33 and our boys are 4&2. There was a sense of longing for something I didn’t long for during those stressful early parenting times. I wanted that intimacy and wanted to give it to him too. So I did to a bit of my detriment. But we’re past that for some time now and have a great sex life, as I share 🤪❤️ Thanks so much for reading and sharing your experience!
So well written. I had a conversation with a friend today not about stress specifically but about the world being f**ked. We decided everyone could benefit from sex and hedonism in these trying times. Orgies for stress relief and world peace?!!
Hahaha it is so sad when the medicine to help is stunted by the problem we have 😭 Thanks so much for reading and this kind response. Your friend and you are def onto something 😘
Thanks. Recognition of the very common influences that bring down the natural urges for "physical workouts" is welcomed. I hadn't noticed the restriction having children plays but that's because I haven't had children. The best I can do is a lot of babysitting so the parents can have a comfy workout.
Hahah yes and that’s certainly of value!! I say after having a rare babysitter last night 🥹❤️ Thanks so much for reading and commenting - I appreciate you!
LOVED every word in this - thank you for sharing and helping!!!
Ug, thank you so so much 🥹❤️😘 Grateful for you saying so!