I love this time of year. When culture conspires to make us consider what the people we love would love to unwrap.
My husband Joe often gifts me lingerie. I enjoy unwrapping the parcels. I get nervous and excited. I discover something about what excites him while uncovering the tissue. I love dressing up and seeing what the outfits bring out of me. And he enjoys those mes.
Wrapping my intimate parts in quality garments has given Joe and me sexy memories, enhanced connection, and the opportunity for self-and-mutual-discovery. We think of our lingerie collection as an investment.
Joe and I spent the last year trying over a dozen lingerie brands, and have distilled our research into this report for you.
I hope our absolutely unsponsored list of unconventional garments inspires you to gift yourself or someone you adore with the gift that keeps giving.
If deep down you want to be freaky, but need context
Get an outfit from The End.
Joe and I feel we can’t have normal sex while wearing The End.
We have a three-piece set that includes these backless briefs, which practically requires us to push the boundaries.
Who doesn’t like a bit of an invitation to be weird?
Joe Note: I had precum just looking at you.
If you want to feel like Lara Croft
Get this crotchless bodysuit and g-string from LeonilaLingerie on Etsy.
It’s an incredibly versatile piece, but everytime I put it on I feel bad ass, and that comes through in the sex.
Theoretically, I could see myself wearing it out with the right styling.
P.S. There’s a big history of lace work and hosiery construction in Eastern Europe. You’ll notice many brands from that part of the world in our list.
Joe Note: Perfect for locking the butler in the freezer.
For becoming the arty Belgian within
Get a one piece from la fille d’O.
I wore one from them on our wedding day. The fabrics feel like heaven. Beautiful, all day wear, with a sexy afterwards.
Joe Note: I have mixed feelings on Belgium, but these are excellent.
If you like to unwrap more than you unwrap
If you like to leave the lingerie on, procure multiple pieces from Maison Close.
It’s hot to layer, because as you remove one more piece you’re seeing a whole other hot arrangement of skin and mesh.
We recommend this sheer-backed pencil skirt, on top of a garter belt, on top of a bottomless body suit, on top of a cupless bra, and please absolutely do not forget a pair of open panties as the final reveal.
Definitely pair the look with some above-the-elbow gloves from What Katie Did.
Maison Close, and this outfit, always makes us lean into traditional gender dynamics in a sexy way. Me, the subtle provocateur, and him, the persistent guy.
Joe Note: I can never remember the name of this brand and always think it’s Maison Derriere - Simpsons fans will know.
For abandoning your humanity and becoming inanimate
You will not regret dressing up in Baed Stories.
They’re costumey and kitsch, but done well.
The most surprising lingerie moment in my life so far was when Joe bought me a pink, red, and white frilly outfit that crossed over their maid choker, balconette bra, and frilly gloves, with a heart-adorned garter belt and briefs. I felt like I became a part of myself I’d kept hidden for a while. I wrote about it here.
Joe Note: I wish there were more brands doing saucy, frilly pink lingerie.
If you want to be sexy, space Barbarella
Get a latex bodysuit from Anoeses or Bright & Shiny.
Latex is ridiculously sexy and completely worth it. It makes you smell a little bit like a balloon, but it’s worth it. It feels incredible, and looks otherworldly. I want to wear it out one day. One day!
Do get the latex care kit!
Joe Note: Imagine saliva dripping onto the chest of this.
For tiptoeing on the taboo
Try the pastel babydoll and lingerie set from Flash U and Me (don’t forget the blue gloves!).
We don’t usually actually role-play. But this one felt obligatory. And it was hot.
Their looks are costume LITE, and fun.
Joe Note: It kind of cracks me up how the models on their site have like swords and stuff.
If you embrace being high maintenance
Go all in and get the strappy Bordelle.
They’re the ultimate in craft. Incredible detailing and luxurious fabrics. But slipping into their strappy setups isn’t for a simple or sleepy mind.
We have this yellow harness and bodysuit that we’ve designated our Easter lingerie, and a mega-strappy, multi-piece red signature set that I believe started from Joe’s desire to see these garters on my legs (and a sale, of course).
Joe Note: Definitely worth splashing out on.
To travel light and look trashy on location
Get a Marie Mur fishnet open crotch catsuit.
It packs so small, and makes the destination all the more festive. I speak from experience.
As fishnet goes, these are really well made.
Joe Notes: Ouvert is a must, for any aspiring lingerie haver -make sure you have a few crotchless items!
If you like going low, and are low maintenance
Get an easy-on ass harness from Purrsense if you love a supple leather, or from Reverie Intimates on Etsy if an elastic band suits you more.
Most lingerie requires a certain level of preparation and commitment. We don’t always want that effort. These harnesses slip on quickly and enhance cunnilingus, as well as the coitus that follows.
I wrote about our first time with the pictured one here.
Joe Notes: The Purrsense harness is the perfect thing to add a little extra spice to a quickie.
To become a walking Matisse still life
Get a matching set from Araks.
It’s simple, beautiful, and so so so nice. They’re my most re-worn pieces. My go-to.
Joe Note: These are really your color.
If body-wrappings aren’t enough costuming for you
Get a mask from Maskaras.
Get blinkers from Elin Harness.
Get a sheepskin-lined leather blindfold, a ball gag, and whip from The Stock Room.
Joe Note: I admit I’m a libertine and a man of the world, but the Stock Room has stuff that genuinely spooks me.
For more gift ideas
Consider getting blow job tea, a part of our sex routine.
A stainless steel Njoy wand feels like a staple in our sex life lately.
Read my gift guide from last year, which is just as timely, because love doesn’t date. It does, however, not require money — and last year I had a few $0 ideas, so go check it out!
And don’t forget, you can gift a subscription to Happy Endings — a love exhibition brings more love into your life.
Excellent recommendations Abigail
Way too much fun for a Monday morning. A very happy xmas indeed.