Welcome back to Happy Endings, where I (a sextech marketer, former relationship anarchist, monogamous married mother of two) wax about contemporary love and provide an honest, relationship peep show. This post is my once-monthly extra-intimate story from my marriage. Paid subscribers enjoy these, plus Praxxxis (dropping every other Thursday). I hope you enjoy this one... Sending love to you (literally) xx
“Did you masturbate when we were apart?” I asked my husband on the night of our reunion.
“No,” he said. It had only been twenty-four hours.
“No? Really?”
“No, really,” he said.
“Did you consider it?” I wanted him to have a juicy story for me. I wanted closeness. And arousal.
“I considered,” he said, “What I’d do to you.” His eyes were on me. “Just as I consider each and every day.”
I felt something leap in my lower abdomen. He isn’t usually a smooth talker. “Is that right?” I said, giddy. “And what was it you imagined?”
“How do you feel?” he said. “Not too shattered?”
I was up early that day, flying with our two kids. “Shattered, but not too.”
“Well then,” he said. “Lie back. Let me show you.”
My face flushed. I put my feet up and spread myself across our couch, propped up by three square pillows — one faux fur and two cotton ones with a cowhide print. My wet hair spread behind me. I pulled a knit blanket across my lap.
“Uh-uh,” he said. “Take that off. And the shorts.”
I did as he said. Then he handed me a leather blindfold with sheepskin eye covers and asked me to put it on. I did.
What happened next, I couldn’t see. But I heard the sound of rubber latex snapping.
