Gifts for your lover
Light on toys. High on quality.
Happy gifting season to all who rank highly in the love language! And for those who don’t, you’re welcome in advance 😉
If love had commandments, they’d converge in November. Life hands you the excuse to reflect on, connect with, and spoil your beloved.
Yes, you can have a great sex life without spending a dime, but my husband and I never limit our pleasure.
If you, too, want to luxuriate in mutual delight, read on for our unsponsored recommendations… Starting with the suggestion that you begin now because, as foreplay teaches, anticipation is half the fun.
And if you’re your own best lover, then consider this your shopping list.
In the following weeks, I’ll share real stories of our experience with some of these items. So, if you’re not already, subscribe to read these tales. If you’d like to hear about one in particular, let me know in the comments!
From us lovers to you…
Gifts for Arousing the Mind
Salivation Mints, $18
Does the idea of a wet mouth make you horny? Joe’s mind went there when he read about Flintts Mouthwatering Mints made for pot-induced dry mouth.
They made us laugh. They made us horny. They made my mouth buzzy and watery. I cannot speak to the oral bacteria pH, but Joe does recommend the experience.
Love Chocolates, $44
We’re chocolate snobs. We’ve tried our fair share of (psycho)active ingredients. Alice Mushrooms delivers on taste (it’s spiced), and the effects were pleasant albeit mild (we could chalk it up to placebo, but why would we when the ritual was this delicious?). Besides, we love the name Happy Ending.
Erotic Story Time, $0-$14.99
My lover’s voice arouses me. What he’s reading doesn’t have to be sexy to turn me on. He once read me a short from an old copy of McSweeney’s about sailing that had a hungover me overcome with desire. Now imagine my heart when he linked me to an auto-fictional one-page Google Doc on his most enduring fantasy.
You can’t buy that for your lover, but you could write your own or outsource your creativity to 831 Stories - this novella is undoubtedly prettier than Google.
Hot Home Videos, $0-$10
Joe keeps a folder of hot home videos on his phone. Recently, mid-romp, a crying baby interrupted us. I requested he keep himself in that moment until I could return. He pressed play on Video Me while Real Me was paused.
Those without their own folder are in luck. You can watch people who are actually in love make love on MakeLoveNotPorn, and if you want my personal bookmarks, ask!
Gifts for Arousing the Body
Hardest Working Oil, $11
I have a massage kink. Joe doesn’t, but he still loves it when I rub his thighs, neck, etc. Who wouldn’t?
Some of my favorite sexual memories are from the life phase when we researched the best body oils. This is our winner. No question.
Latex Everything, $131-$240
I still remember Joe’s voice preparing me for what I was about to unbox. I could tell he was excited, nervous even. It was my first latex experience.
Did you know latex is a natural material? I didn’t. Am I rambling? Yes. I am still stunned by my new latex obsession. I don’t think I’ve ever felt sexier. We laughed about it for days. Joe said, “It’s outrageously sexy.”
A confession inspired this gift. Earlier this year, I told Joe I found dental dams sexy - specifically feeling a tongue through a barrier. I can’t tell you what your lover told you, but this is a suitable replacement if you can’t remember.
Joe did an unreasonable amount of research before buying these. He’s certain these are some of the best manufacturers you can find. We have this pictured above and this in red (Joe says it was surprisingly difficult to find a full zip).
Hardest Working Toy, $180
You don’t need 100 toys. You do need a wand. This is what we have and love.
Gifts for Arousing the Spirit
Play Time, $40
I love listening to Joe talk about himself. I felt more connected with him as I overheard him interviewing for jobs, for instance. These playing cards by Esther Perel bring out the stories he’s less inclined to share with a potential employer, and - bonus - while we play this, I don’t have to eavesdrop.
Control Relief, $12
Whether or not you share a background as a control freak, I can guarantee a spiritual benefit from this self-adhering tape. It sticks to nothing but itself and leaves you freer than before.
Submit yourself and wrap your wrists. Submit your wand and wrap it around your thigh. Submit your vision - it’s hair-safe! The bondage benefits are only bound by your imagination.
Happy Endings for All, $55
Meditate on love every Monday with me, and keep the gift of love going all year. Use my love stories to infuse love into your life 😘 Besides, I’ll be sharing sexy stories of our experience with these products in the coming weeks.
In gratitude,
This endeavor would not have been possible without my charmingly contradictory other half - a man who hates holiday music sooner than the twelve days of Christmas, yet adores contemplating gift giving all year long (it’s an aseasonal pleasure to him (lucky me!)).
Finally, thank you all for reading, sharing, liking, and subscribing. I am beyond grateful that you shared your resources with me. It's a gift!
Echoing the NOW oils as absolutely THE BEST! For all the myriad of hundred-dollar bottles of fancy body oils for sale, none of them even comes close to the NOW brands I've been getting at my. local health store for years. I'm allergic to almonds, so the jojoba is my go-to!