I love this! And I share with you, what i perceive to be not the norm, that motherhood (x3) was an inflection point in my own sexuality. I think one reason, of many, was an such an empowering relationship with my body, which fueled my overall empowerment. My relationship with my body had always been far more focused on what everyone else would like. And now it was mine, and it was fucking incredible.
Abigail, the essay becomes especially interesting when “MILF” moves beyond an age category and into a question of whether motherhood can coexist publicly with desire, agency, and self-possession. Reading the search trend as a cultural signal opens a larger inquiry into how women reclaim care for themselves after entering a role that can consume extraordinary amounts of it. That gives the data a human question to carry even where the cultural explanation remains open for interpretation. Grateful for the seriousness beneath the provocation and for the way you connected motherhood, desire, and self-possession.
Thanks for this read, Rev! The MILF is unapologetically erotic. That mindset is the key to not letting that care-responsibility consume a mom. It’s obviously an imperfect role in a society with so little social support, but perhaps this reclaimed MILF attitude can be a hot way to heal more than the MILFs themselves :)
Abigail, your emphasis on the unapologetically erotic sharpens the cultural question. When motherhood becomes a role expected to absorb nearly every other dimension of a woman’s identity, publicly reclaiming desire can become one way of refusing that totalizing script and insisting on the whole adult person still present within it. The wider consequence may be permission: other women seeing that care, agency, sensuality, and self-possession can coexist without one erasing the others. Grateful for the way you extended the conversation from individual reclamation into what that visibility might make imaginable for others.
Loved this piece! I have been a huge fan of MILFs for a LONG time now. As a photographer, I actively seek out models who are mothers (but I shoot with plenty who never have been as well). Pregnancy and childbirth change a person, for sure. And not just in obvious physical ways. And I think it is those internal changes that are a key to my attraction to MILFs.
Yes yes - it is that internal change that makes the MILF aspirational and attractive to me, too. I’m with you! Thank you, as always, for reading and supporting MILFs, Douglas! :)
Wow, I had no idea. Feeling hotter by the second now. 🔥 Thank you for always delivering a well-balanced, thoughtful commentary on taboo topics, Abigail.
This is a super interesting read. I love anytime we can recognize that motherhood doesn’t strip us of our sexuality, and in fact we can be so multifaceted and still incredibly erotic in this deepened and expansive new self. Motherhood can be catalyst for this actually if we left it! Thanks for the thought provoking share.
I think it's part of a more general shift right now, towards younger men seeking out older women, sometimes much older women. Am definitely seeing it; living it. There was a New York Times article about it earlier this year. It's an interesting phenomenon and it's hard to know exactly what's driving it. Hey we older women don't make the rules, we just enjoy them haha. Thank you for this piece, I do love your work Abigail.
I've thought about this a fair bit, and it may be idealistic but I think it's at least partially a reflection of the lies of Hollywood be dominant culture being exposed.
Older women have always been hot and beautiful. It's just that the powerful people in Hollywood and earlier often only valued one specific aesthetic as desirable. The rise of easily accessible, searchable, personalized porn meant that so long as there was some of it, anyone could seek it out.
This made it very clear that people are attracted to older women, heavier people, different or alternative looks, people that the dominant culture assured us were undesirable. People were seeking them out online. People do in fact desire them.
I love this! And I share with you, what i perceive to be not the norm, that motherhood (x3) was an inflection point in my own sexuality. I think one reason, of many, was an such an empowering relationship with my body, which fueled my overall empowerment. My relationship with my body had always been far more focused on what everyone else would like. And now it was mine, and it was fucking incredible.
Hell yes, I’m with you. The rise of empowered mothers is a good fucking omen, imo!
Abigail, the essay becomes especially interesting when “MILF” moves beyond an age category and into a question of whether motherhood can coexist publicly with desire, agency, and self-possession. Reading the search trend as a cultural signal opens a larger inquiry into how women reclaim care for themselves after entering a role that can consume extraordinary amounts of it. That gives the data a human question to carry even where the cultural explanation remains open for interpretation. Grateful for the seriousness beneath the provocation and for the way you connected motherhood, desire, and self-possession.
Thanks for this read, Rev! The MILF is unapologetically erotic. That mindset is the key to not letting that care-responsibility consume a mom. It’s obviously an imperfect role in a society with so little social support, but perhaps this reclaimed MILF attitude can be a hot way to heal more than the MILFs themselves :)
Abigail, your emphasis on the unapologetically erotic sharpens the cultural question. When motherhood becomes a role expected to absorb nearly every other dimension of a woman’s identity, publicly reclaiming desire can become one way of refusing that totalizing script and insisting on the whole adult person still present within it. The wider consequence may be permission: other women seeing that care, agency, sensuality, and self-possession can coexist without one erasing the others. Grateful for the way you extended the conversation from individual reclamation into what that visibility might make imaginable for others.
No surprise I love this.
Alt. mom blogs united 💓😘
Loved this piece! I have been a huge fan of MILFs for a LONG time now. As a photographer, I actively seek out models who are mothers (but I shoot with plenty who never have been as well). Pregnancy and childbirth change a person, for sure. And not just in obvious physical ways. And I think it is those internal changes that are a key to my attraction to MILFs.
Yes yes - it is that internal change that makes the MILF aspirational and attractive to me, too. I’m with you! Thank you, as always, for reading and supporting MILFs, Douglas! :)
Wow, I had no idea. Feeling hotter by the second now. 🔥 Thank you for always delivering a well-balanced, thoughtful commentary on taboo topics, Abigail.
Enjoyed your read!
As old as I am now the MILF is probably 105 yrs old or dead. I think I will pass.
This is a super interesting read. I love anytime we can recognize that motherhood doesn’t strip us of our sexuality, and in fact we can be so multifaceted and still incredibly erotic in this deepened and expansive new self. Motherhood can be catalyst for this actually if we left it! Thanks for the thought provoking share.
Thank you for this! The need even transcends chronological age. I’ve had men 10+ years my senior ask to call me Mommy.
I think it's part of a more general shift right now, towards younger men seeking out older women, sometimes much older women. Am definitely seeing it; living it. There was a New York Times article about it earlier this year. It's an interesting phenomenon and it's hard to know exactly what's driving it. Hey we older women don't make the rules, we just enjoy them haha. Thank you for this piece, I do love your work Abigail.
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/16/opinion/younger-men-dating-older-women.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share
I've thought about this a fair bit, and it may be idealistic but I think it's at least partially a reflection of the lies of Hollywood be dominant culture being exposed.
Older women have always been hot and beautiful. It's just that the powerful people in Hollywood and earlier often only valued one specific aesthetic as desirable. The rise of easily accessible, searchable, personalized porn meant that so long as there was some of it, anyone could seek it out.
This made it very clear that people are attracted to older women, heavier people, different or alternative looks, people that the dominant culture assured us were undesirable. People were seeking them out online. People do in fact desire them.
That Farmer’s Almanac analogy is absolutely brilliant.
As always, so insightful and so much fun to read!