Our mortality is surely something I'm thinking a lot more about now that all of my grandparents are gone and our parents are entering the "slowing-down" stage of life, battling various physical and mental obstacles. Your post resonates as a mother to two small children, but I also can't imagine the loss of a mother so young. Of course, you feel this way. Of course, the emotion. Heartbreaking. You are a wonderful mother, and you have delightful boys! Sending love to you tonight and always. <3
Those are totally understandable feelings. The weight of such a burden — having passed the age where your mom died — must be heavy. And so far, you hadn’t really focused on that in your writing. Instead your writing has been about sucking the marrow out of that sexy life you have built for yourself and for Joe, and it is amazing. But we humans are super complex, and we can hold multiple truths, and be multiple versions of ourselves. And you can both the sexy MILF writing about her adventures with her husband, and angst-ridden mom dealing with the existential dread of leaving those you love behind for reasons beyond your control.
I’m glad that you are looking after your health and controlling for what you can control. We need more adventures. And those kinds need more cuddles.
I teared up from this, Douglas! Thanks for seeing all the sides ❤️ Joe reminded me this morning that it isn’t uncommon for me to have a big ole sob and pounce on him with a strange and sexy plan in the same day. I guess it is my nature to move through the feelings and I’m glad to have this place to share them with such a thoughtful, and generous community 🥰
Ah! You're so sweet, and clear a wonderful mom. My mom died when I was pregnant woth my 3rd child, sort of a weird circle of life thing.
Worrying about being good enough usually means you're just fine. Like the notion that a real narcissist never worries if they're a narcissist. If you're worried you are one, you're totally fine.
That vision gave me chills. Because I relate so much. I'm a man in my mid twenties and don't have kids but I sometimes get similar visions about loved ones, and sometimes, myself. It just pops up and plays, and is almost always centered around domestic accidents.
It was nearly constant in my teens and I always felt like a bad person when it happened. Glad I've outgrown that feeling at least, and glad to know I'm not the only one.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I like to think it keeps us appreciative for what we get. Some people intentionally practice death meditations. We’re blessed to be bestowed them 🤪😉
I’m touched you’ve shared this. Grateful for your reading 🥰
Oh this resonated. First of all, I’m so sorry for your early mother loss. I was 32 when my mother died (at 58) which is young in a different level but I was always grateful for the (almost) 32 years I had even though 2/3 of that was with her being ill (multiple sclerosis). Anyway my goal is also not to die - being a totally single parent adds to my stress about this. We can’t help but worry with history and circumstances such as they are, but, I try to do what is in my power to control and tell my kids I love them every day. Oh also, live my life in joy as much as I can, for all of our sakes.
Our goal being so impossible to control is a tragic comedy, isn't it? But you're absolutely bang on about the reasonable steps: to live in joy, express love, and, as I'm still working on, manage our stress and preventative care. Sending LOVEEE to you majorly, and I'm sorry for your loss too, and glad for all the love/life you two did get ❤️ I'm sure she's proud as fuck of you.
So many big feelings for me and me for you, in reading this one. I’m tired this morning, so I won’t write them. But know that I see you and you are good-most excellent in fact! Sending you BiG LoVe Abby!!! Judi
From afar I diagnose a proportionate amount of worry 🥹 and poise, and strength, awareness, dedication and love! And a hell of a lot-a cool 😎 —goes a long way 😅
This is beautiful, Abigail. I’m so, so sorry for your loss, and for the ways you’ve had to learn how to navigate the world with such an enormous loss at such a young age! This is NOT advice - for I say you should do whatever feels most organic and supportive - but as noticing a moment of synchronicity and nothing else, I finally today for the first time listened to Anderson Cooper’s grief podcast on a car trip. And then proceeded to listen to Nick Cave for the rest is the drive home… BIG HUGS
Our mortality is surely something I'm thinking a lot more about now that all of my grandparents are gone and our parents are entering the "slowing-down" stage of life, battling various physical and mental obstacles. Your post resonates as a mother to two small children, but I also can't imagine the loss of a mother so young. Of course, you feel this way. Of course, the emotion. Heartbreaking. You are a wonderful mother, and you have delightful boys! Sending love to you tonight and always. <3
🥹❤️ and sending it back to you for all the same reasons, K! Thank you thank you ❤️
Those are totally understandable feelings. The weight of such a burden — having passed the age where your mom died — must be heavy. And so far, you hadn’t really focused on that in your writing. Instead your writing has been about sucking the marrow out of that sexy life you have built for yourself and for Joe, and it is amazing. But we humans are super complex, and we can hold multiple truths, and be multiple versions of ourselves. And you can both the sexy MILF writing about her adventures with her husband, and angst-ridden mom dealing with the existential dread of leaving those you love behind for reasons beyond your control.
I’m glad that you are looking after your health and controlling for what you can control. We need more adventures. And those kinds need more cuddles.
I teared up from this, Douglas! Thanks for seeing all the sides ❤️ Joe reminded me this morning that it isn’t uncommon for me to have a big ole sob and pounce on him with a strange and sexy plan in the same day. I guess it is my nature to move through the feelings and I’m glad to have this place to share them with such a thoughtful, and generous community 🥰
Ah! You're so sweet, and clear a wonderful mom. My mom died when I was pregnant woth my 3rd child, sort of a weird circle of life thing.
Worrying about being good enough usually means you're just fine. Like the notion that a real narcissist never worries if they're a narcissist. If you're worried you are one, you're totally fine.
Oye circle of life indeed! Grieving while creating. I would’ve contracted from sob convulsions 🙊
And thank you ❤️ I hope I can more gracefully accept the balance of presence, and times limitations, with time 🙃
That vision gave me chills. Because I relate so much. I'm a man in my mid twenties and don't have kids but I sometimes get similar visions about loved ones, and sometimes, myself. It just pops up and plays, and is almost always centered around domestic accidents.
It was nearly constant in my teens and I always felt like a bad person when it happened. Glad I've outgrown that feeling at least, and glad to know I'm not the only one.
Thank you for writing this.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I like to think it keeps us appreciative for what we get. Some people intentionally practice death meditations. We’re blessed to be bestowed them 🤪😉
I’m touched you’ve shared this. Grateful for your reading 🥰
Oh this resonated. First of all, I’m so sorry for your early mother loss. I was 32 when my mother died (at 58) which is young in a different level but I was always grateful for the (almost) 32 years I had even though 2/3 of that was with her being ill (multiple sclerosis). Anyway my goal is also not to die - being a totally single parent adds to my stress about this. We can’t help but worry with history and circumstances such as they are, but, I try to do what is in my power to control and tell my kids I love them every day. Oh also, live my life in joy as much as I can, for all of our sakes.
Our goal being so impossible to control is a tragic comedy, isn't it? But you're absolutely bang on about the reasonable steps: to live in joy, express love, and, as I'm still working on, manage our stress and preventative care. Sending LOVEEE to you majorly, and I'm sorry for your loss too, and glad for all the love/life you two did get ❤️ I'm sure she's proud as fuck of you.
Thank you and back at you!
So many big feelings for me and me for you, in reading this one. I’m tired this morning, so I won’t write them. But know that I see you and you are good-most excellent in fact! Sending you BiG LoVe Abby!!! Judi
This is so beautiful and tender—
From afar I diagnose a proportionate amount of worry 🥹 and poise, and strength, awareness, dedication and love! And a hell of a lot-a cool 😎 —goes a long way 😅
This is beautiful, Abigail. I’m so, so sorry for your loss, and for the ways you’ve had to learn how to navigate the world with such an enormous loss at such a young age! This is NOT advice - for I say you should do whatever feels most organic and supportive - but as noticing a moment of synchronicity and nothing else, I finally today for the first time listened to Anderson Cooper’s grief podcast on a car trip. And then proceeded to listen to Nick Cave for the rest is the drive home… BIG HUGS