I use to be someone who thought sucking dick was the highest form of self disrespect until I encountered a man who treated me so well and gave me such great head. Let’s just say I now jump at the opportunity to suck his dick. It dead ass makes me excited to such dick like yessss I feel so dirty yet powerful
Frank, that's a great point. Real intimacy comes from being open and caring for each other. When you focus on your partner's pleasure with love, it shows respect and strengthens your connection. Those are the moments that really build trust and make your bond stronger than just words.
Trust is key isn’t it because there is absolutely a vulnerability to it but once trust and consent are mutually established intimacy is absolutely exhilarating. And it has to work both ways.
Hello Suman, thank you for your kind words. I particularly liked your comments re trust. In reality both participants in this glorious event are rendering themselves to a certain degree vulnerable and the trust earned and given is essential to love.
That's a great point, Frank. Trust is truly the base of any real relationship, especially in love. Being open is risky, but so is being willing to show who you are. When people do that, they're agreeing to protect each other.
Good words, and a reminder that love isn't real without trust.
There is nothing better than going down on one’s sexual partner. Female or male. The point of sex is pleasure, and how could anyone NOT want to please his partner?
In the summer of 1982, one unforgettable weekend changed everything for me. Decades later, that memory is becoming my new book — and it will be out by Christmas. 🎁
Until then, I’m sharing the untold story in a free newsletter. I’d love for you to join me on the journey:
I have a friend who has been with her man over 20 years, has two kids with him and refuses to suck his dick until they’re married. I’ve been telling his for years, if she sucked his dick, he probably would have married her a long time ago.
I suspect the marriage ritual is not the only thing missing from your friends relationship. In fact, the marriage ritual should not form the basis of such things.....
I myself am a radical intersectional pussy licking, cock sucking, feminist, and a tip-top shelf lover. Why? Because the depth of connection in mutual support and adoration, appreciation and celebration(!!) IS feminist and allows our partners, of all genders, to flourish in their full expansive creative humanity, that has width and breadth for creativity, fem/masq, and everywhere in between and on the way. Mmmm.
I have always considered myself a feminist and I have also always enthusiastically enjoyed giving head and I’ve been praised by many men and chastised by many women for it- not all, but plenty. I always thought that was sad, not for me, but for them! I find such pleasure and power in it. It shifts the dynamic for me. Men are portrayed as the stronger tougher human, but in reality we all know that’s false. There is nothing more powerful than creation. All men come from women. Everything in existence comes from The Mother. Not to mention, their most delicate bits hang right off their body and into my mouth, equipped with teeth made for chomping and gnawing flesh (I’m not saying that I ever would, I’m just stating a fact)- that seems like a precarious position for one of us, and an awfully powerful one for another. On the other side of the coin, if I have chosen to put your dick in my mouth it’s because I intend to please you, and watching your toes curl and your body writhe in ecstasy bring me great joy. Great piece! Thanks for sharing!
What a great comment! You have the perfect perspective of BJs and bless you for saying you enjoy them. A partner’s pleasure is certainly an end goal, but a dick in one’s mouth or one’s face against a pussy is its own slice o’ heaven. Who tf would chastise you for giving pleasure to someone, or taking pleasure from that? Dictating morality and proscribing this or that behavior are about as anti-feminist as it gets. Hands off all our bodies and get out of our bedrooms. Consent is understood in this discussion. If feminists are concerned about say males being affected by porn to make coercive and/or unnecessarily rough blowjobs an expectation, that’s quite understandable. Self-agency is all.
Tom, you got it. Pleasure isn't something you owe or trade it's joy you share, a way to get away together, and a real act of agreeing and relating. If we let others tell us what's right in our personal lives, we give up being in charge of ourselves. Feminism is really about respecting what we want for ourselves that's all. Keep your hands off our bodies, but touch each other, always with agreement and care.
Thanks for sharing this raw and honest reflection. You've put it so well. What you're talking about is more than just taking charge of your sexuality; it's about reclaiming your spirit. The key is having the freedom to choose to embrace pleasure and tenderness, strength and vulnerability, without feeling bad about it. It's sad how often people are made to feel bad for their joy if it doesn't fit someone else's idea of what's right. Your words are a good reminder that creating something is powerful, and so is freely giving pleasure. I really appreciate your insight and courage.
Loving men and sucking dick have nothing to do with feminism and anyone who thinks that is actually just the worst of the worst. Period. Hard stop. I’m a die hard feminist because I believe in autonomy and equality but I love men and tomorrow night, imma be loved by one again. And you’d better believe I’m going to have a dick in my mouth.
I was taught that sucking dick was shameful until I decided I wanted to change my thinking on it. I started reading some educational and fellatio positive articles and now, I love it. I love to lay my lover out and play. There is nothing more powerful than knowing you control how much pleasure your partner is receiving at any given time. Also, it's just plain fun and some nights worshipping at his masculine altar is all I really want. Thank you for this. ✨
Love your very frank article. My first marriage was sexless (I was raised catholic by parents who believed sex was only to have babies.) and it took being on a girls trip in my 30’s where they were all happy to have a weekend break from sex to make me realize I was missing out. Fast forward to the amazing man I’ve been with for 12 years (I’m 60) and his philosophy is “anything goes” if we both agree. MY GOD! What I missed out on for so long! He
Is totally selfless and it’s all about me til I literally can’t take it anymore. I love to return the favor - what I love even more is that he taught me to love sex and not have that awful catholic guilt.
What I don’t see in the comments is anything about the pleasure to be found in GIVING oral sex of either flavor. With a base level of hygiene as a given, that sensory load of touch, taste and smell offers plenty of stimulation if one is open to it. All the nerve endings in our mouths, faces and hands can join the party.
I have had shy, perfunctory BJs that were the equivalent of a smile that does not reach the eyes. I am clean and not large and never grab both ears and thrust, so I don’t think it was me. If it’s done merely for reciprocity or as an obligation that is just sad.
Oh absolutely! Any interaction done “merely as reciprocity or obligation” (as you so keenly say) can be felt, and it is sad. I hadn’t seen your comment until just now, but there is something to this spirit in my post today. (Great minds, eh?) I think people can fall into these patterns when they’re disconnected from themselves, and it can snowball into disconnection with their lover too.
Haha I love this 😂 while I am on a current dick detox, just do this every so often to make sure I’m not wasting my time thinking about men rather than creating and my pursuits, I never understood the anti pleasure side of feminism — or more so deciding where other people’s pleasure comes from. I think the only time blowjobs would be degrading is if they’re also not going down on me?? To me, a blowjob giver seems like the power holding position. They’re risking their dick between someone’s teeth in order to have an orgasm. Both their safety & their pleasure is in the palm of your… mouth. 🍆 👅
Okkk the concept of a regular dick detox to ensure self-dependency is incredible. Have you written on this? It reminds me of the Artist’s Way’s date yourself tenant.
And yes, I so agree on the public confusion on the true power of fellatio. Let’s push that narrative outtt 😛
Thank you so much for reading, and commenting! I appreciate your time so much!
I’m in my own phase of dick detox right now. I’ve got some big life goals I need to knock out before I let myself get dragged into the man-drama of dating again. They’re such needy creatures, it’s almost a full-time job lol.
I loved this whole article but I have to say that learning the phrase “sloppy blozzer” was the highlight of my week. I haven’t been so thrilled since I was 14 and first heard of “cob slobbing” (perhaps an Ohio thing?!).
Hahahah I wish I could send an audio recording here in case it’s not clear that it’s British slang and the “er” sounds more like “a”. It’s a phrase that never gets old to hear.
Cob is so midwest - I love that and can’t believe I hadn’t heard it (I’m from Minnesota).
HAH u had me at sloppy blozzer 🤣 this was a very enjoyable and well-written piece. I appreciate your use of humour and this line is fantastic - "it's far sexier, far more erotic, to debase and degrade your lover when she's empowered to choose." I too am a cock-sucking feminist, a ball-cradling "ball buster", a cum gargling gender equality genie. Thank you so much for sharing !!! 💞✨️
Women hold so much power over men and in a relationship giving head and swallow or share deepens the bond of the relationship there is nothing more beautiful than watching my partner going down on me she made me feel worthy to be so intimate
Well, dang!...this is good to hear....( oral sex is "beneath" them... WTF?!) loving someone by offering up your mouth for their pleasure, just as long as you or they can " handle" it.....can it get any better?!
I use to be someone who thought sucking dick was the highest form of self disrespect until I encountered a man who treated me so well and gave me such great head. Let’s just say I now jump at the opportunity to suck his dick. It dead ass makes me excited to such dick like yessss I feel so dirty yet powerful
🥲💘 aww I genuinely teared up a little at that ode! Put me on the pedestal and I’ll debase myself with glee for thee 😇
Thanks for sharing this Dayanna it’s made me happy to read ❤️
I am a man who has always felt that going down on a woman you love is the most intimate, loving act that can occur in the bedroom.
🥰 I love that so much ❤️ thanks for reading and sharing!
Thank you Abigail, I’m happy that you enjoyed my effort. I wish I’d added “a field of wildflowers” to the bedroom. Even better😍
All visions of bliss ❤️
Hii Mari janu
So cute
Frank, that's a great point. Real intimacy comes from being open and caring for each other. When you focus on your partner's pleasure with love, it shows respect and strengthens your connection. Those are the moments that really build trust and make your bond stronger than just words.
Trust is key isn’t it because there is absolutely a vulnerability to it but once trust and consent are mutually established intimacy is absolutely exhilarating. And it has to work both ways.
Hello Suman, thank you for your kind words. I particularly liked your comments re trust. In reality both participants in this glorious event are rendering themselves to a certain degree vulnerable and the trust earned and given is essential to love.
That's a great point, Frank. Trust is truly the base of any real relationship, especially in love. Being open is risky, but so is being willing to show who you are. When people do that, they're agreeing to protect each other.
Good words, and a reminder that love isn't real without trust.
Amen sister! It’s all about a mutual pleasure path and being totally in love with your person makes it all the better.
I wasn't prepared to see a comment like this on Substack. I can't unsee this
There is nothing better than going down on one’s sexual partner. Female or male. The point of sex is pleasure, and how could anyone NOT want to please his partner?
It’s a good question!
You will love my new book!
💃 One dance. One weekend. A lifetime of desire…
In the summer of 1982, one unforgettable weekend changed everything for me. Decades later, that memory is becoming my new book — and it will be out by Christmas. 🎁
Until then, I’m sharing the untold story in a free newsletter. I’d love for you to join me on the journey:
👉 https://substack.com/@ajdjo?invite
I have a friend who has been with her man over 20 years, has two kids with him and refuses to suck his dick until they’re married. I’ve been telling his for years, if she sucked his dick, he probably would have married her a long time ago.
I suspect the marriage ritual is not the only thing missing from your friends relationship. In fact, the marriage ritual should not form the basis of such things.....
Niiiice. Love the art as well.
I myself am a radical intersectional pussy licking, cock sucking, feminist, and a tip-top shelf lover. Why? Because the depth of connection in mutual support and adoration, appreciation and celebration(!!) IS feminist and allows our partners, of all genders, to flourish in their full expansive creative humanity, that has width and breadth for creativity, fem/masq, and everywhere in between and on the way. Mmmm.
The best!
It’s a beautiful thing to celebrate our lovers 🥹💘🥰
Thanks for reading and sharing ❤️❤️❤️
Well said!
Love what you are doing and it’s a big turn on for me thanks ♋️😘
👏👏👏
I have always considered myself a feminist and I have also always enthusiastically enjoyed giving head and I’ve been praised by many men and chastised by many women for it- not all, but plenty. I always thought that was sad, not for me, but for them! I find such pleasure and power in it. It shifts the dynamic for me. Men are portrayed as the stronger tougher human, but in reality we all know that’s false. There is nothing more powerful than creation. All men come from women. Everything in existence comes from The Mother. Not to mention, their most delicate bits hang right off their body and into my mouth, equipped with teeth made for chomping and gnawing flesh (I’m not saying that I ever would, I’m just stating a fact)- that seems like a precarious position for one of us, and an awfully powerful one for another. On the other side of the coin, if I have chosen to put your dick in my mouth it’s because I intend to please you, and watching your toes curl and your body writhe in ecstasy bring me great joy. Great piece! Thanks for sharing!
Hahaha I love this!! Yes, BJs have such a twisted public image. I endorse your view ☺️ Maybe we need a committee for the perception of oral 😆
What a great comment! You have the perfect perspective of BJs and bless you for saying you enjoy them. A partner’s pleasure is certainly an end goal, but a dick in one’s mouth or one’s face against a pussy is its own slice o’ heaven. Who tf would chastise you for giving pleasure to someone, or taking pleasure from that? Dictating morality and proscribing this or that behavior are about as anti-feminist as it gets. Hands off all our bodies and get out of our bedrooms. Consent is understood in this discussion. If feminists are concerned about say males being affected by porn to make coercive and/or unnecessarily rough blowjobs an expectation, that’s quite understandable. Self-agency is all.
Tom, you got it. Pleasure isn't something you owe or trade it's joy you share, a way to get away together, and a real act of agreeing and relating. If we let others tell us what's right in our personal lives, we give up being in charge of ourselves. Feminism is really about respecting what we want for ourselves that's all. Keep your hands off our bodies, but touch each other, always with agreement and care.
I love this so much. Thank you for articulating it so well.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for sharing this raw and honest reflection. You've put it so well. What you're talking about is more than just taking charge of your sexuality; it's about reclaiming your spirit. The key is having the freedom to choose to embrace pleasure and tenderness, strength and vulnerability, without feeling bad about it. It's sad how often people are made to feel bad for their joy if it doesn't fit someone else's idea of what's right. Your words are a good reminder that creating something is powerful, and so is freely giving pleasure. I really appreciate your insight and courage.
I love this! You should write more about these experiences!
Interesting isn’t it? Because I’ve experienced exactly the same thing. Women seem somewhat shocked and Appalled
Loving men and sucking dick have nothing to do with feminism and anyone who thinks that is actually just the worst of the worst. Period. Hard stop. I’m a die hard feminist because I believe in autonomy and equality but I love men and tomorrow night, imma be loved by one again. And you’d better believe I’m going to have a dick in my mouth.
Hahaha enjoy your dick and autonomy 🥰😘🙏
Thank you for reading!
You’re welcome, and thank you for responding.
Of course! It’s my pleasure.
😭😭😭i love when women just say it how it is
🥹❤️ thanks, doll - who’s got time for the alternative these days 😘
truly an icon x
🥹
Well said.
I was taught that sucking dick was shameful until I decided I wanted to change my thinking on it. I started reading some educational and fellatio positive articles and now, I love it. I love to lay my lover out and play. There is nothing more powerful than knowing you control how much pleasure your partner is receiving at any given time. Also, it's just plain fun and some nights worshipping at his masculine altar is all I really want. Thank you for this. ✨
🥹🥰 I so feel this Joy! I love that you listened to your gut and have found yourself enjoying a devotional bj these days ❤️ I’m smiling to read it.
Thanks for reading and sharing your story 💫
Love your very frank article. My first marriage was sexless (I was raised catholic by parents who believed sex was only to have babies.) and it took being on a girls trip in my 30’s where they were all happy to have a weekend break from sex to make me realize I was missing out. Fast forward to the amazing man I’ve been with for 12 years (I’m 60) and his philosophy is “anything goes” if we both agree. MY GOD! What I missed out on for so long! He
Is totally selfless and it’s all about me til I literally can’t take it anymore. I love to return the favor - what I love even more is that he taught me to love sex and not have that awful catholic guilt.
Being catholic too I was taught the same thing I’m glad I broke free from religion.
I’ve always been confused about society using the term “cocksucker” in a derogatory manner…
Lol! Ditto. I love using language in that way… Thanks for reading :)
What I don’t see in the comments is anything about the pleasure to be found in GIVING oral sex of either flavor. With a base level of hygiene as a given, that sensory load of touch, taste and smell offers plenty of stimulation if one is open to it. All the nerve endings in our mouths, faces and hands can join the party.
I have had shy, perfunctory BJs that were the equivalent of a smile that does not reach the eyes. I am clean and not large and never grab both ears and thrust, so I don’t think it was me. If it’s done merely for reciprocity or as an obligation that is just sad.
Does perfunctory pussy-eating happen too?
Oh absolutely! Any interaction done “merely as reciprocity or obligation” (as you so keenly say) can be felt, and it is sad. I hadn’t seen your comment until just now, but there is something to this spirit in my post today. (Great minds, eh?) I think people can fall into these patterns when they’re disconnected from themselves, and it can snowball into disconnection with their lover too.
A multi-sensory experience for sure!
Title made me chuckle. Perhaps if everyone gives/receives pleasure we’d might be kinder to each other.
Haha I'm so glad. My tongue was in my cheek most essay. Not all, because I agree, if everyone was eaten well, we’d all be more full and satisfied.
Thanks for reading and commenting 😘🥰😘
Haha I love this 😂 while I am on a current dick detox, just do this every so often to make sure I’m not wasting my time thinking about men rather than creating and my pursuits, I never understood the anti pleasure side of feminism — or more so deciding where other people’s pleasure comes from. I think the only time blowjobs would be degrading is if they’re also not going down on me?? To me, a blowjob giver seems like the power holding position. They’re risking their dick between someone’s teeth in order to have an orgasm. Both their safety & their pleasure is in the palm of your… mouth. 🍆 👅
Okkk the concept of a regular dick detox to ensure self-dependency is incredible. Have you written on this? It reminds me of the Artist’s Way’s date yourself tenant.
And yes, I so agree on the public confusion on the true power of fellatio. Let’s push that narrative outtt 😛
Thank you so much for reading, and commenting! I appreciate your time so much!
Love this ❤️
I’m in my own phase of dick detox right now. I’ve got some big life goals I need to knock out before I let myself get dragged into the man-drama of dating again. They’re such needy creatures, it’s almost a full-time job lol.
I loved this whole article but I have to say that learning the phrase “sloppy blozzer” was the highlight of my week. I haven’t been so thrilled since I was 14 and first heard of “cob slobbing” (perhaps an Ohio thing?!).
Hahahah I wish I could send an audio recording here in case it’s not clear that it’s British slang and the “er” sounds more like “a”. It’s a phrase that never gets old to hear.
Cob is so midwest - I love that and can’t believe I hadn’t heard it (I’m from Minnesota).
Thanks so much for reading and sharing this 💓
HAH u had me at sloppy blozzer 🤣 this was a very enjoyable and well-written piece. I appreciate your use of humour and this line is fantastic - "it's far sexier, far more erotic, to debase and degrade your lover when she's empowered to choose." I too am a cock-sucking feminist, a ball-cradling "ball buster", a cum gargling gender equality genie. Thank you so much for sharing !!! 💞✨️
HA tita, you made me lol. I think we should get merch with your brilliant phrasing 😆
YEEESSSSSS !!!!!! 🙌🙌🙌
hell yes! sucking dick is so erotic! they could never make me think it's bad...
To blow you is to know you is to love you 😉
this whole piece is scholarly — and the way you write shows the power you hold / release and both are hot and feel sexy.
🥰🥰 I have goosebumps from that sweet ass compliment 🥹 THANK YOU
There are only two types of men, men who love blow jobs and dead men.
Lol and I do love a man, so blowjobs it is
Women hold so much power over men and in a relationship giving head and swallow or share deepens the bond of the relationship there is nothing more beautiful than watching my partner going down on me she made me feel worthy to be so intimate
It is that feeling of worthiness, isn’t it? My husband has shared that the BJ does that for him too… It proves the thing words rarely scratch.
Thank you for reading and sharing your experience here, Bill!!
Well, dang!...this is good to hear....( oral sex is "beneath" them... WTF?!) loving someone by offering up your mouth for their pleasure, just as long as you or they can " handle" it.....can it get any better?!
Really, can it?! It’s true intimacy! ☺️ Thank you for reading and commenting, Peter!