My role-play secret
Sex as Individuation (Praxxxis #9)
The hottest role-play doesn’t involve a nurse costume, step-family trope, or a handiman script. Dressing up as Barbarella is fun, don’t get me wrong, but that superficial play is never as erotic as the sex that excavates your Self.
My husband and I’s secret to role-play is that we treat it like Individuation.
It’s hot. It’s deep as fuck. And it has exponential erotic benefit.
We don’t have to be full Jungians to recognize that archetypal characters reside within our psyches. Within myself, I have the mother, the maiden, the child, the hero. I wear a persona mask intentionally and unintentionally. Both my shadow and my ego are present in my life, and especially in my sex life. (If you’ve read the Happy Endings deep cut, “The Psyche is in Sex Position Preferences,” you’ll know how.) These are heavy topics that I could sit, clothed with a stranger, analyzing. But I’d far rather strip myself back literally and figuratively with the love of my life.
My husband and I do this via character-driven archetypes. This isn’t something we named literally before delving in. We didn’t create scripts and roles. It formed naturally. One of us took on a persona, the other took on the mirror persona, we got frisky, and by the end, we found ourselves with a greater understanding of our individual wholeness and collective connection. After this happened a few times, it became a favorite, secret, role-play style.
Here are a few ways you (with a lover, or on your own) could do the same:
